Friday, July 22, 2011

July 2011 and trip to the Davenport Quadrant

In 14 days we leave for the Davenport, WA Quadrant. I am looking forward to getting away. Doing better, keeping myself busy with some books from my mom and staying active with the kids. They hate "the hill." Once we get back from our trip I aim to get back motivated and finish all the things I started in May. If I really want something I have to put the work in to making it come about.

July 14-19
Andrew did well on his first flight. The pilots were great and everyone was very friendly. For the first few nights Denyce and I bunked together and Steve and Andrew shared the basement. That wouldn't last long. Andrew couldn't stand Steve's snoring so I wound up bunking with Andrew and Steve went to his old room.
Thursday evening we had dinner with Steve's Aunt Doris and Uncle Ed at the Red Rooster restaurant in Reardan.
We went to Mondovi on Friday and visited Loren's family and Les' family. The kids enjoyed the horses, calves, chickens, goats, dogs and rabbits.
On Saturday we enjoyed a rainy Pioneer Days Parade. Andrew enjoyed the park and playing on the merry-go-round. That evening we went to Andy Casper's mom's home for an early celebration of his 50th. Steve got to visit with Ruthy, Tom, Randy, Rusty, Mike and of course Andy. We missed David and Rich being in attendance, especially since this would have been their 30th High School Reunion. Life sometimes causes you to change the priorities and you can't really expect people to pick up where you left off, especially if it was years later.
On Sunday we attended an all area church service on the grounds of the court house...only in a small town would it not be a big deal. Try doing that in CA and there would be lawsuits filed before the new day got going. The four of us took a trip to Seven Bays and drove around the Old Fort. It was amazing to see how much things had changed since I was there in '94.
On Monday we drove to the Trinidad Farms and saw the wheat up close and personal. The kids loved the grasshoppers. We spent a leisurely last evening at home.
Tuesday we made a dash over to Steve school EWU, where he got a t-shirt, then dashed to the airport. Of course in our rushing we learned that Delta had delayed our flight by an hour and there could be a chance of missing our connection to San Diego. After using our $24 vouchers and boarding our flight, we made it to Salt Lake City an hour after schedule. Unfortunately, Steve was busy with phone calls and I was watching the bags, that while the kids were seated and waiting we left "baby" Andrew's lovey of 4 years behind. He will be greatly missed and we will be heartsick about it for a while. We did make our connection to San Diego...of course it was the same plane we had left Spokane it. If I had known we might have just stayed on the plane and we might still have baby with us. Andrew is taking it well, has some sad moments but he does have others loveys to keep him occupied. We made it back to San Diego at 6:20 and I was glad we did laundry the day before. After some adjustment we seem to be settling in. It was a great trip and I hope we can have regular vacations from now on.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

June 2011 Quadrant

Ensign Denyce has completed 6th grade and will need to work on a few things to be successful in the 7th.  She received many awards for her hard work and had some of her poetry be a part of the school anthology.  She enjoyed Disneyland (June 15th) and I was glad to have the day with her.

Ensign Andrew has been adjusting to be stationed home and I have found some fun and educational things to keep him busy.  We kept the celebration small for his 4th birthday, enjoying a day at Chuck E. Cheese and riding his new bike.

Commander Steve continues to carryout his duties flawlessly and I am thankful for his continued support.  I know he carried an extra burden right now and I hope once Ensign Andrew returns to duty I'll be able to ease the burden somewhat.

My workouts have become almost invisible with having to keep the kids busy and not waste away in front of the computer or television.  I sometimes wish I could clone myself...I could really use the help.  My 40th birthday came and went.  No big deal, just as I expected.  My emotional level is very high, I have been venturing into trouble territory and I know I better deal with my "issues" soon or there is going to be real trouble.  Losing my motivation level again.  Sometimes if you want something you have to do it yourself and expecting others to (feel in the adjective: love you, respect you, care about you) enough sometimes just doesn't happen.  I shouldn't have to plan my out party...right??  I know, this too shall pass.  I think that might be why I have no zeal when I work out.  I am in my "going through the motions" phase again.  I know things are going to fall into place soon, patience is a hard thing to master.

On a happier note was glad to visit with everyone at my sister's graduation from  Antioch University with a Master's in Psychology.  I pray the job she is supposed to have presents itself quickly and everything else her heart desires is on its way.

This month passed us by way too quickly.

Spring 2011 2nd Semester Do Over Week Eleven to Sixteen and May

Week 11 (Apr 10-16)
Survived exam #2.  My stress level is going through roof with my clinical group.  I just don't understand why these kids just can't just hang in there and not get so worked up about the staff.  People are people and you have to make sure you don't set yourself up to be picked on.  Losing my zeal for Research class.  Doing my best to be a part of the group but they are meeting on days I have clinical and I really get any feedback from anyone.  I hate being left behind...the consequences of my actions and some inactions.  Classmates don't automatically mean friends.  Got my final evaluation in on time, piece of cake.  Glad my final weeks have been positive with the staff and patients.  Will start working on my resume and looking for a part time job soon.

Week 12 (Apr 17-23)
Got a great peptalk from my clinical professor, but I'm still feeling the burn out.  Doing too much reading of Fan Fiction these days and its a good distraction but an addictive one.  I gotten some great ideas for my story, which is almost done.  Our group did our presentation and things went well.  We unfortunately didn't finish all the groups so some will have to do their presentations before the final exam.
My final evaluation for clinical went well and Prof. Muehlbauer expressed her desire for me to be a TA for her in my fifth semester.  After all we endured and survived I look forward to working with her again.

Week 13 (Apr 24-30)
All quiet, unfortunately I am unmotivated to study for my final exam.  Part of me is just tired and the other is Star Trek fixated.  The Fan Fiction is too much of a distraction now and I can't seem to get enough.  I know I am heading for trouble.  Maybe I am a little anxious about my upcoming birthday?!  I honestly think is due to loneliness.  I had such a great cohort going and now its gone.  I believe I am pouring my sadness into the Sci-Fi Fantasy but its not helping me with my studies.

Week 14 (May 1-7)
Well I totally disregarded my schedule to study for Research...showed in my final exam grade...I'll be getting a B in that class instead of an A.  :0(
I am on track with Med/Surg studying.  Now that clinical is behind me I have no excuse or distractions.  Yes, I even put the Fan Fiction away for now.
Had a great time at the presentation for Nurse's Week.  Having Dr. Michael Bleich address our class was a wonderful experience.  Later at the his lecture at the Aztec Athletics Center, I was bouncing off the wall.  I fully meant my comment about keeping out "New Car Smell" as nurses and not falling by the wayside in what we do.  Just the additional motivation I needed to wrap up this semester.

Week 15 (May 8-14)
I am all alone this week.  Trying not to be sad.  My workouts have been sporadic at best.  I haven't gained any weight but losing is not progressively happening.  My heart is adrift at the moment.  Miss my cohort.  Dr. Robinson has given me are final answer...enjoy summer with my family and make new friends.  Easier said then done.

Week 16 (May 15-21)
Final exam.  Did great, got an B in the class.  Dr Gates seemed to want to get me to say it was okay to keep me behind.  I don't think I'll ever be able to say it, agree with it or except it.  Hurts way too much and I feel so awful about it.  I should have fought harder and got others to help me not get left behind.  I did tell him that I really couldn't compare the semesters since things were so different.  I was with a group of immature people this time around and I had to do a lot of babysitting that really worked my nerves.  Also my teachers were too comfortable with, telling me things like I was their colleague instead of their student.  It really caused an increase of pressure on me that I did not like and was unsure how to get rid of.
On the positive, meeting Prof. M was the most rewarding event of the whole semester.  I hope to find someone like her if I don't get to see her again to be a mentor to me.  I will have to drop her a line from time to time.  Also on the positive my grade was changed.  Seemed others complained about the getting a grade they didn't earn just to justify their not moving ahead.  I think that hurt the most.  I am glad to have my GPA back!  Which came at the right time I was awarded a $1000 scholarship.  That got me motivated again and I might take a summer class.  I really just need A's from here on out to keep my GPA up and really show how much I want to be the best at what I do.

May 22-31
Semester Do Over is now behind me.  I am working on getting acquainted with my new church family and all the changes that are happening.  I had thought I would take a summer course but it was geared for RN-BSN students and I had so much trouble trying to enroll if just really unmotivated me to be there.  I'll hold out, especially since I am going need an additional 3 credits to keep my fulltime status.  The Commander is ready for me to branch out but since Ensign Andrew will be taking 2 months leave it will have to wait until August.  I can now focus my attention on reading and some light television watching.