Hot Potato Topic September #3

Wow Middle of September! The Holidays will be upon us before we know it!
Last week's topic truly got the conversation going. With our unique mix of readers I know not everyone is comfortable with asking questions. I've post a few links to quick quizzes that can be helpful to make sure you're on the right track to health and wholeness.
There is not wrong question....just that question that is not asked.
Healthy Choices,
The Chef

Condom Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sex/rm-quiz-condoms

HPV Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/hpv-genital-warts/rm-quiz-myths-facts-genital-hpv

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/rm-quiz-stds

Erectile Dysfunction Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/rm-quiz-erectile-dysfunction

Orgasm Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/rm-quiz-orgasms

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WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.

Hot Potato Topic September #2

Greetings My Fellow Cooks,
Well let's continue to conversation we started last week. Great discussion...I hope all of us are on the road to better health!
The Chef

The Dating Game: When's the Right Time for Sex?

Experts discuss the consequences of not playing by your own dating rules.

Dating Rules: Talk First, Act Later

While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together.

"There needs to be a conversation up front. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells WebMD.

Dating Rules: Talk It Over with Yourself First

Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.

"Every woman and man should know their boundaries before they start dating, and most of us don't," says Cheryl McClary, PhD, JD, professor of women's health at University of North Carolina-Asheville.

When McClary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. She's also referring to emotional boundaries.

"Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," McClary tells WebMD.

To that end, McClary often tells women, "If you value a committed relationship, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to stay emotionally whole?'"

When directing her advice on dating rules to a male audience, McClary puts things a little differently. "Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.

McClary believes all daters should invest the same amount of time conducting these 'self' conversations about personal dating rules as they do primping before a big date. She also says the conversation, like the primping, should happen at the same time -- before that big date.

"Think about your sexual boundaries before you've had that first drink," McClary advises.

Dating Rules: Practical Matters

Once you've decided what you want out of a date, say experts, you should make it part of your regular dating rules to tell your partner.

"If you just want a one-night stand, you owe it to your partner to tell them 'it's just sex I'm after,'" McClary tells WebMD. While a dating partner may not welcome this news, it at least can minimize later disappointments.

So, too, does an up-front conversation about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

"The risks of STDS have got to be discussed and prevented from spreading," Allen tells WebMD. "I say definitely use condoms, even if you're in a committed relationship," she adds.

Concern about STDs and unwanted pregnancies can help create sexual boundaries, believes McClary. If, for instance, you're on the fence about whether or not to take sexual activity to the next level, a healthy dose of fear may cause you to pause, particularly if you're not prepared to take the necessary precautions. Plus, not having adequately prepared for these practical aspects of sex may signal an overall non-readiness to engage in it.

At some point during their courtship, many dating couples decide its time to break down initial boundaries -- be they emotional, physical, or both -- and engage in a sexual relationship. If both people are playing by the same dating rules, sex can serve as the gateway to a consensual, committed relationship.

"I thought there were differences between men and women and how they felt about relationships. But overall, I have found that very often they want the same thing," Allen says.

 

Hot Potato Topic September #1

Good September My Fellow Cooks!
Recently a girlfriend of mine had a major health scare that rattled all of us in are intimate circle. This months seems just as good as any to focus on our health. Since not all of us are sitting at home watching television, it would behoove us to make sure we are taking care of ourselves. Not that any of us want to start a first a date with showing our test results it is important that we know our bodies and do what is necessary to protect ourselves so we can continue to enjoy our lives.
Healthy Choices,
The Chef

Safer Sex - Topic Overview

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are spread by sexual contact involving the genitals, mouth, or rectum, and can also be spread from a pregnant woman to her fetus before or during delivery. STIs, which affect both men and women, are a worldwide public health concern.
Although most STIs can be cured, some cannot, including HIV (which causes AIDS), genital herpes, and human papillomavirus (HPV), which can cause genital warts.
STIs can be spread by people who don't know they are infected. Always use protection every time you have sex, including oral sex, until you are sure you and your partner are not infected with an STI.
If you are in a relationship, delay having sex until you are physically and emotionally prepared, have agreed to only have sex with each other, and have both been tested for STIs.

Abstinence as prevention

Completely avoiding sexual contact (abstinence), including intercourse and oral sex, is the only certain way to prevent an infection.

Discuss safer sex with your partner

Discuss STIs before you have sex with someone. Even though a sex partner doesn't have symptoms of an STI, he or she may still be infected.
Questions to ask someone before having sex include:

• How many people have you had sex with?
• Have you had sex without a condom?
• Have you ever had unprotected oral sex?
• Have you had more than one sex partner at a time?
• Do you inject illegal drugs or have you had sex with someone who injects drugs?
• Have you ever had unprotected sex with a prostitute?
• Have you had a test for HIV? What were the results?
• Have you ever had an STI, including hepatitis B or hepatitis C? Was it treated and cured?

Safer sex practices

Some STIs, such as HIV, can take up to 6 months before they can be detected in the blood. Genital herpes and the human papillomavirus (HPV) can be spread when symptoms are not present. Even if you and your partner have been tested, use condoms for all sex until you and your partner haven't had sex with another person for 6 months. Then get tested again.

• Watch for symptoms of STIs, such as unusual discharge, sores, redness, or growths in your and your partner's genital area, or pain while urinating.
• Don't have more than one sex partner at a time. The safest sex is with one partner who has sex only with you. Every time you add a new sex partner, you are being exposed to all of the diseases that all of their partners may have. Your risk for an STI increases if you have several sex partners at the same time.
• Use a condom every time you have sex. A condom is the best way to protect yourself from STIs. Latex and polyurethane condoms do not let STI viruses pass through, so they offer good protection from STIs. Condoms made from sheep intestines do not protect against STIs.
• Use a water-based lubricant such as K-Y Jelly or Astroglide to help prevent tearing of the skin if there is a lack of lubrication during sexual intercourse. Small tears in the vagina during vaginal sex or in the rectum during anal sex allow STI bacteria or viruses to get into your blood.
• Avoid douching if you are a woman, because it can change the normal balance of organisms in the vagina and increases the risk of getting an STI.
• A mouth barrier, such as a dental dam, can be used to reduce the spread of infection through oral sexual activity. You can discuss this method with your dentist or doctor.
• Be responsible. Avoid sexual contact if you have symptoms of an infection or if you are being treated for an STI, such as HIV. If you or your partner has herpes, avoid sexual contact when a blister is present and use condoms at all other times.

For more information see: Sexually Transmitted Infections.

WebMD Medical Reference from Healthwise

Last Updated: June 04, 2014

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information.

© 1995-2015 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.

Hot Potato Topic August #5

Well Cooks,
I thank you for allowing me this down time and I look forward sharing some great new information with you help you live better, love better, and just enjoy yourself. Okay hit the beach, or get under the A/C and see a movie or read a new book.
The Chef

Clarity of possibilities 

Most of the limitations you experience are largely defined, supported and given
energy by your own perceptions. Change those perceptions, genuinely raise
 your expectations, and the limitations will begin to melt away.

The experience of limitation is only one way, out of many possible ways you
have, for relating to a particular situation. You are always free to make
another choice, to relate to your circumstances in a more positive, empowering
way.

Though one approach may be blocked, it is only one of many possible approaches.
Limitations are always finite, yet the number of positive possibilities is
unlimited.

Whatever is holding you back is doing so because you have accepted it as
something that's holding you back. Imagine what would happen if you
accepted, with just as much certainty, the very real possibility of moving
forward.

Are you looking at the world through the fog of limitation or are you seeing
the bright, shining clarity of your best possibilities? The way you choose to
perceive where you are can make a world of difference in where you end up going.

-- Ralph Marston