Hot Potato Topic September #5

Hey Fellow Cooks,
One of the things we can take away from this list below is none of them have to be permanent sex drive killers. There are options and resources to keep your sex lives healthy and thriving.
The Chef

Sex-Drive Killers

Sex-Drive Killer: Stress

Some people do many things well when they're stressed. Feeling sexy usually isn't one of them. Stress at work, home, or in relationships can happen to anyone. Learning how to handle it in a healthy way really helps. You can do a lot of it yourself, and a counselor or doctor can also help.

Sex-Drive Killer: Partner Problems

Problems with your partner are among the top sex-drive killers. For women, feeling close is a major part of desire. For both sexes, watch for fallout from fights, poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other trust issues. If it's tricky to get back on track, reach out to a couples counselor.

Sex-Drive Killer: Alcohol

A drink may make you feel more open to sex. But too much alcohol can numb your sex drive. Being drunk can also be a turn-off for your partner. If you have trouble drinking less, seek help.

Sex-Drive Killer: Too Little Sleep

If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you're not getting enough sleep. Do you go to bed too late or rise too early? Do you have a sleep problem like trouble falling or staying asleep, or a condition such as sleep apnea? Anything that messes with a good night's rest can mess with sex. Fatigue saps sexy feelings. Work on your sleep habits, and if that doesn't help, talk to your doctor.

Sex-Drive Killer: Having Kids

You don't lose your sex drive once you're a parent. However, you do lose some time to be close with kids under foot. Hire a babysitter to nurture some time to be partners as well as parents. New baby? Try sex during baby's nap time.

Sex-Drive Killer: Medication

Some drugs can turn down desire. They include some of these types of medications:

• Antidepressants
• Blood pressure medications
• Birth control pills (some studies show a link; others don't)
• Chemotherapy
• Anti-HIV drugs
• Finasteride

Switching drugs or dosages may help -- ask your doctor about that and never stop taking any medicine on your own. Tell your doctor, too, if  your sex drive stalls soon after you start taking a new drug.

Sex Drive Killer: Poor Body Image

Feeling sexy is easier if you like how you look. Work on accepting your body as it is today, even if you're working to get in shape. Feeling good about yourself can put you in the mood. If your partner has low esteem, assure them that they're sexy.

Sex-Drive Killer: Obesity

When you're overweight or obese, desire often dims. It could be that you don't enjoy sex, can't perform like you want to, or are held back by low self-esteem. Working on how you feel about yourself, with a counselor if needed, may make a big difference.

Sex-Drive Killer: Erection Problems

Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) often worry about how they will be able to perform sexually, and that worry can drain their desire. ED can be treated, and couples can also work to keep it from affecting their relationship.

Sex-Drive Killer: Low T

The "T" hormone, testosterone, fuels sex drive. As men age, their T levels may drop a bit. Not all lose the desire for sex as this happens, but some do. Many other things -- from relationships to weight -- also affect a man's sex drive and testosterone levels, so there's not a one-size-fits-all answer for every man.

Sex-Drive Killer: Depression

Being depressed can shut off pleasure in many things, including sex. That's one of many reasons to get help. If your treatment involves medication, tell your doctor if your sex drive is low, since some (but not all) depression drugs lower sex drive. Talk about it with your therapist, too. 

Sex-Drive Killer: Menopause

For many women, sex drive dims around menopause. That's partly about symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex. But every woman is different, and it's possible to have a great sex life after menopause by tending to your relationship, self esteem, and overall health.

Sex-Drive Killer: Lack of Closeness

Sex without feeling close can slay desire. Intimacy is more than just sex. If your sex life is idling, try spending more non-sexual time together, just the two of you. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Find ways to express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your sex drive.

Reviewed by William Blahd, MD on April 18, 2016
Sources:
This tool does not provide medical advice. See additional information:
© 2016 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic September #4

Good Friday Fellow Cooks,
How'd ya'll do with the quizzes from last week? I was pleasantly pleased with 80% or greater on all of them. Whew!
So we all want great sex, mind blowing sex, or better sex. Here are some ways to get there.
Enjoy,
The Chef

Exercises for Better Sex

Cardio

Getting physical can ramp up the pleasure for you and your partner. Any activity that gets your heart beating faster and you breathing harder, from brisk walking to cycling, can boost blood flow -- including to your nether regions. That’s a plus for both genders: stronger erections for men, and greater arousal for women (a whopping 169% more in one University of Texas study).

Swimming

Harvard researchers found that male and female swimmers in their 60s had sex lives similar to people 20 years younger. Swimming builds endurance, boosts blood flow, improves flexibility and strength, and slashes stress. It also burns some serious calories, a plus for anyone who's overweight (extra pounds lower libido), especially obese men with erectile dysfunction.

Core and Abs Work

A strong, flexible core underpins most everything you do. That includes performing between the sheets. Bonus: You may be one of the lucky people who can have an orgasm while exercising -- sometimes called a "coregasm." It tends to happen during core-strengthening workouts like crunches.

Frog Pose

This move will make you more flexible during lovemaking, says NYC-based exercise physiologist Liz Neporent. It's an intense hip opener that stretches your inner thighs, groin, and hips. It also releases stress, which can be a real buzz-kill in bed.

Hinge

To help hold yourself in a "favorable position" without your back or legs giving out, Neporent recommends the hinge. Lean back at a 45-degree angle for a few seconds before returning upright, and repeat. The move is subtle but creates a lot of staying power.

Kegels

Developed to treat urinary incontinence, these strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, and that means explosive orgasms. Women may be more familiar with Kegels, but they also help men prevent premature ejaculation. But studies show half of people don't do them correctly. Ladies, if you put a finger in your vagina, you should feel a pulling up when you squeeze. Men, your penis will lift up.

Plank

This is a perfect way to strengthen the deepest layer of your ab muscles (transversus abdominis), along with your upper arms, thighs, and buttocks. These muscles help stabilize you so you can stay close to your partner when and where it counts most. Do it once a day, and build up to 60 seconds or longer. If it's too challenging on your toes, try balancing on your knees instead.

Cat/Cow Stretch

Think of this yoga pose as another form of foreplay. It limbers your spine, helps get you into an even breathing rhythm, and improves focus -- so your mind stays in the moment. Move with a steady flow, so that each rounding up (the cow part) takes a full breath out and each arching downward (the cat part) takes a full breath in.

Pelvic Thrust

Whether your favorite position is missionary or cowgirl, this move is a key part of it. But powerful pushes can be exhausting when you're out of shape. Work your glutes, calves, and hamstrings to build stamina and flexibility. Pelvic thrusts also sculpt your booty, so you feel good and look good.

Better Together

Couples who sweat together stay together, so make an exercise date with your significant other. Studies show that challenging physical activities spark arousal. You'll be more attracted to your partner post-workout, too. Coordinate your actions (for example, run at the same pace) to strengthen your emotional connection even more.

Reviewed by Traci C. Johnson, MD, FACOG on October 23, 2014
Sources:
This tool does not provide medical advice. See additional information:
© 2014 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic September #3

Wow Middle of September! The Holidays will be upon us before we know it!
Last week's topic truly got the conversation going. With our unique mix of readers I know not everyone is comfortable with asking questions. I've post a few links to quick quizzes that can be helpful to make sure you're on the right track to health and wholeness.
There is not wrong question....just that question that is not asked.
Healthy Choices,
The Chef

Condom Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sex/rm-quiz-condoms

HPV Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/hpv-genital-warts/rm-quiz-myths-facts-genital-hpv

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/rm-quiz-stds

Erectile Dysfunction Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/rm-quiz-erectile-dysfunction

Orgasm Quiz
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/rm-quiz-orgasms

©2005-2016 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.

Hot Potato Topic September #2

Greetings My Fellow Cooks,
Well let's continue to conversation we started last week. Great discussion...I hope all of us are on the road to better health!
The Chef

The Dating Game: When's the Right Time for Sex?

Experts discuss the consequences of not playing by your own dating rules.

Dating Rules: Talk First, Act Later

While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together.

"There needs to be a conversation up front. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells WebMD.

Dating Rules: Talk It Over with Yourself First

Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.

"Every woman and man should know their boundaries before they start dating, and most of us don't," says Cheryl McClary, PhD, JD, professor of women's health at University of North Carolina-Asheville.

When McClary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. She's also referring to emotional boundaries.

"Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," McClary tells WebMD.

To that end, McClary often tells women, "If you value a committed relationship, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to stay emotionally whole?'"

When directing her advice on dating rules to a male audience, McClary puts things a little differently. "Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.

McClary believes all daters should invest the same amount of time conducting these 'self' conversations about personal dating rules as they do primping before a big date. She also says the conversation, like the primping, should happen at the same time -- before that big date.

"Think about your sexual boundaries before you've had that first drink," McClary advises.

Dating Rules: Practical Matters

Once you've decided what you want out of a date, say experts, you should make it part of your regular dating rules to tell your partner.

"If you just want a one-night stand, you owe it to your partner to tell them 'it's just sex I'm after,'" McClary tells WebMD. While a dating partner may not welcome this news, it at least can minimize later disappointments.

So, too, does an up-front conversation about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

"The risks of STDS have got to be discussed and prevented from spreading," Allen tells WebMD. "I say definitely use condoms, even if you're in a committed relationship," she adds.

Concern about STDs and unwanted pregnancies can help create sexual boundaries, believes McClary. If, for instance, you're on the fence about whether or not to take sexual activity to the next level, a healthy dose of fear may cause you to pause, particularly if you're not prepared to take the necessary precautions. Plus, not having adequately prepared for these practical aspects of sex may signal an overall non-readiness to engage in it.

At some point during their courtship, many dating couples decide its time to break down initial boundaries -- be they emotional, physical, or both -- and engage in a sexual relationship. If both people are playing by the same dating rules, sex can serve as the gateway to a consensual, committed relationship.

"I thought there were differences between men and women and how they felt about relationships. But overall, I have found that very often they want the same thing," Allen says.

 

Hot Potato Topic September #1

Good September My Fellow Cooks!
Recently a girlfriend of mine had a major health scare that rattled all of us in are intimate circle. This months seems just as good as any to focus on our health. Since not all of us are sitting at home watching television, it would behoove us to make sure we are taking care of ourselves. Not that any of us want to start a first a date with showing our test results it is important that we know our bodies and do what is necessary to protect ourselves so we can continue to enjoy our lives.
Healthy Choices,
The Chef

Safer Sex - Topic Overview

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are spread by sexual contact involving the genitals, mouth, or rectum, and can also be spread from a pregnant woman to her fetus before or during delivery. STIs, which affect both men and women, are a worldwide public health concern.
Although most STIs can be cured, some cannot, including HIV (which causes AIDS), genital herpes, and human papillomavirus (HPV), which can cause genital warts.
STIs can be spread by people who don't know they are infected. Always use protection every time you have sex, including oral sex, until you are sure you and your partner are not infected with an STI.
If you are in a relationship, delay having sex until you are physically and emotionally prepared, have agreed to only have sex with each other, and have both been tested for STIs.

Abstinence as prevention

Completely avoiding sexual contact (abstinence), including intercourse and oral sex, is the only certain way to prevent an infection.

Discuss safer sex with your partner

Discuss STIs before you have sex with someone. Even though a sex partner doesn't have symptoms of an STI, he or she may still be infected.
Questions to ask someone before having sex include:

• How many people have you had sex with?
• Have you had sex without a condom?
• Have you ever had unprotected oral sex?
• Have you had more than one sex partner at a time?
• Do you inject illegal drugs or have you had sex with someone who injects drugs?
• Have you ever had unprotected sex with a prostitute?
• Have you had a test for HIV? What were the results?
• Have you ever had an STI, including hepatitis B or hepatitis C? Was it treated and cured?

Safer sex practices

Some STIs, such as HIV, can take up to 6 months before they can be detected in the blood. Genital herpes and the human papillomavirus (HPV) can be spread when symptoms are not present. Even if you and your partner have been tested, use condoms for all sex until you and your partner haven't had sex with another person for 6 months. Then get tested again.

• Watch for symptoms of STIs, such as unusual discharge, sores, redness, or growths in your and your partner's genital area, or pain while urinating.
• Don't have more than one sex partner at a time. The safest sex is with one partner who has sex only with you. Every time you add a new sex partner, you are being exposed to all of the diseases that all of their partners may have. Your risk for an STI increases if you have several sex partners at the same time.
• Use a condom every time you have sex. A condom is the best way to protect yourself from STIs. Latex and polyurethane condoms do not let STI viruses pass through, so they offer good protection from STIs. Condoms made from sheep intestines do not protect against STIs.
• Use a water-based lubricant such as K-Y Jelly or Astroglide to help prevent tearing of the skin if there is a lack of lubrication during sexual intercourse. Small tears in the vagina during vaginal sex or in the rectum during anal sex allow STI bacteria or viruses to get into your blood.
• Avoid douching if you are a woman, because it can change the normal balance of organisms in the vagina and increases the risk of getting an STI.
• A mouth barrier, such as a dental dam, can be used to reduce the spread of infection through oral sexual activity. You can discuss this method with your dentist or doctor.
• Be responsible. Avoid sexual contact if you have symptoms of an infection or if you are being treated for an STI, such as HIV. If you or your partner has herpes, avoid sexual contact when a blister is present and use condoms at all other times.

For more information see: Sexually Transmitted Infections.

WebMD Medical Reference from Healthwise

Last Updated: June 04, 2014

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information.

© 1995-2015 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.