Hot Potato Topic November #4

Happy Thanksgiving!
I am so thankful for all of you and I wish you a wonderful holiday!
The Chef

Hot Potato Topic November #3

Hey Cooks,
As I prepare to hit the road and enjoy multiple home cooked meals, I thought a little advice for holidays with the family would be appropriate.
Enjoy,
The Chef

8 tips for handling extended family stress during the holidays

As the holidays are upon us, many of us will be spending time with extended family. Whether you’re traveling to visit parents or they’re coming to stay with you, time spent with family can be filled with blessings — and also lots of stress.
My father-in-law aptly stated it this way: one of the best things about the holidays is seeing the headlights of family members coming up the driveway to visit. The second best thing about the holidays is seeing their taillights as they drive away.
Handling extended family and in-laws can be tricky for most every couple.
Not everyone has the blessing of a good extended family or in-laws. Many spouses still may feel like they must compete against their in-laws for the time and attention of their spouse.
Like it or not, extended family and in-laws are part of your life, so having a good relationship with them is vital. After all, you married into their system. And they can help instill values in your children.
So how do you navigate the extended family and in-law waters this holiday season?
With a mix of tact, straightforwardness, and healthy selfishness.
Whether the relationship with your extended family or in-laws is great or could use some improving, here are some tips that may help.

1. Your spouse comes first.

The Bible even talks about this one — a child will leave their mother and father and cleave to their spouse. When you get married, it’s time to grow up and leave your parents. This doesn’t mean you emotionally kick them to the curb or cut all ties, but you do need to establish your own family. By putting your spouse first, you are choosing the adult role of being a husband or wife over the role of being a child in your parent’s family.

2. Set boundaries.

There are many things that happen in marriage that are none of your parent’s business. If you run to mom or dad any time you have a fight with your spouse, how are you going to learn to handle life with your spouse on your own? Avoid sharing the household secrets with your parents. Discuss with your spouse what topics and areas of your life are off limits to others.

Photo by Carolien Dekeersmaeker

3. Establish ground rules.

Much like the previous point, setting clear ground rules for handling extended family will improve your marriage:

• When do you and your spouse have exclusive time for each other?
• When do you spend time with your extended family?
• When do you involve your parents/in-laws in decision-making?
• Where should you discuss your marital conflicts: in private or in front of your in-laws?

4. Recognize the culture.

Our culture and upbringing plays a major role in how we do marriage. Recognize the cultural aspects of your spouse’s upbringing. One client I’ve worked with handled it this way: in her upbringing, the women did all the cooking and cleaning up at mealtimes. So when they shared a meal with her parents, he stayed out of the way. However, when her parents weren’t around, he stepped up and helped out or took care of it himself.

5. Don’t criticize your spouse’s relationship with their family or parents.

Nothing can raise a spouse’s defenses faster than criticism. Seek to understand more about their relationship rather than criticize, as that can lead to bitterness and resentment.

6. Be polite.

This doesn’t mean you have to change your personality to please your extended family or in-laws, but respect rules and traditions that are important to the older generation. Being polite and respectful with in-laws will go a long way in improving the relationship — not only with your in-laws, but your spouse as well.

Photo by Kevin King

7. Develop code words.

My wife and I have pretty good relationships with each other’s parents and family. Even so, there are still times when they drive us a bit crazy. We’ve developed some code words that we use to lighten the mood between us whenever family is getting too annoying. Have fun with this one, but remember to remain respectful.  Derogatory code words will only cause more problems.

8. Spend time with your extended family.

Develop a better relationship with your family members by doing things together. Find out what they enjoy and join them. This could be shopping, playing golf, cards, whatever. You may find you have more in common than you thought.

So works for you when it comes to your relationship with extended family and in-laws?

CoreyCorey writes regularly about marriage and relationships on his site, Simple Marriage, which is full of laid back information sure to improve your relationships.You can also catch his radio show - Sexy Marriage Radio, a weekly show filled with straightforward and practical information that will help your marriage.

Hot Potato Topic November #2

How we doing my fellow cooks?
What ya cooking? Prepping for family, friends and food?
Just like with all the weddings this past June it will be off to family and friends in an attempt to not gain too much weight! But as someone that loves to eat and enjoys trying new dishes, there will be very little 'no' and a whole lot of 'YES!'

Dating After Divorce: When Is the Right Time?

By Lisa Fields
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD

WebMD Feature Archive

If you’re divorced, or have ended a long-term relationship, well-meaning relatives and friends may encourage you to start dating again soon. But how will you know when you're ready for a new relationship?

“This wildly varies from person to person,” says Judith Sills, PhD, a Philadelphia-based psychologist and author of Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted. “Everyone ends a relationship by grieving the emotional investment. For some people, that happens before they move out. Others are still emotionally married after the divorce is final.”

Dena Roché started dating while waiting for her divorce papers to come through.

“It helped, because I got to see what 'normal' looked like,” Roché says. “I also saw that my ex wasn't the only guy who would want to be with me. It bolstered my confidence for dating.”

Claudia Barnett needed some alone time to heal before seeking a new relationship.

“Your marriage has died; you need to grieve that loss,” Barnett says. “To move forward, I had to be whole emotionally, financially, mentally, and spiritually. After I accomplished some set goals, I knew it was time.”

Here's what experts say you should consider before dating:

Go by your feelings, not the calendar

Some people are ready to date after 2 months; others may need years. Don't rush. It's important to experience the emotions associated with divorce.

Give yourself “a little time to think, a little time to grieve, a little opportunity to find someone else,” Sills says.

The ex factor

If you're still thinking about what your ex is doing or whom he's dating, you're too distracted to begin a healthy relationship.

“Some people date and even marry to try to prove something to an ex,” says Edward M. Tauber, PhD, a California-based divorce counselor and co-author of Find the Right One After Divorce. “You wouldn't date somebody who's still tangled up with an ex emotionally. Why offer that to somebody else?”

Are you open to new experiences?

If you were in a committed relationship for a long time, the idea of beginning a new romance may seem scary. If you've recently tried other activities that bring you out of your comfort zone, you could be ready to date.

“Have you done something that's an affirmation of yourself and your life -- made a new friend, taken up a new sport, gotten a haircut?” Sills asks. “You open your heart to new relationships when you're resilient enough to endure the minuses of dating to get the pluses.”

Accept yourself as an individual

Your identity has nothing to do with your dating status. Rather than jumping into a new relationship to avoid being alone, give yourself a chance to explore life on your own terms.

“You can't heal unless you're on your own,” Tauber says. “You need to find single friends to have a social life with.”

Things have changed since the last time you were dating

Not only have you changed since you were last single, but so have your social life, circle of friends, and routines. You might meet a new partner through a friend or by clicking with a mysterious stranger -- but you may also want to consider online dating.

“The advantage is you have a pool of people who are looking, like you are,” Sills says. “When you drop off the kids at school, there might be a single person there, but you don't know them.”

Dating is an adult decision

Some single parents don't date because they're worried about the effect it may have on their children. You don't let your children make other decisions for you, so don't let them keep you from dating if that’s something you want to do.

But be careful.

“Do a very slow introduction of a new partner,” Sills says. “It should be a serious person with the potential of a long-term relationship who comes to dinner or the zoo as mom or dad's friend.”

© 2013 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic November #1

Greetings Fellow Cooks!
Something is smelling good in the kitchen! I hope its thankfulness. This week we'll finish our sexual health with some important information and resources you need to know.
The Chef

Understanding Hepatitis -- Diagnosis and Treatment

How Do I Know If I Have Hepatitis?

Viral hepatitis, such as hepatitis C (HCV), hepatitis B (HBV) and hepatitis A (HAV), is diagnosed by your symptoms, a physical exam, blood tests, and other studies, such as FibroSure. Sometimes imaging studies such as a sonogram or CAT scan and a liver biopsy are also used.

Hepatitis: Who's at Risk?

For hepatitis C, the CDC recommends that you have a blood test if any of the following is true:

• You have received an organ transplant or transfusion in the past.
• You have been notified that you received blood or an organ transplant from a donor who later tested positive for the disease
• You have ever injected drugs, even once many years ago
• You received a blood transfusion or an organ transplant before July 1992
• You received a blood product used to treat clotting problems that was made before 1987
• You were born between 1945 and 1965
• You have had long-term kidney dialysis
• You have signs or symptoms of liver disease
• You have HIV
• You have a known exposure to HCV
• You have persistent elevations of a liver blood test called ALT (alanine aminotransferase levels)

Other people for whom hepatitis C virus testing is indicated include:

• Children born to HCV-positive mothers
• Hospital and other health care facility workers after a needle stick or exposure to the blood of a person with HCV
• Public safety and emergency medical workers after a needle stick or exposure to the blood of a person with HCV

The following people who are at increased risk for contracting hepatitis B virus include:

• People who received a blood or a blood-product transfusion prior to 1972
• Hospital and health care workers
• Household members of an infected person
• Intravenous drugs users (both present and former users)
• People who have had a tattoo or a body part pierced with an infected needle
• Sex partners of infected people
• Travelers to countries where HBV is endemic
• People who were born to a mother infected with HBV
• Transplant-organ recipients who received an infected organ

The following groups of people should be screened for hepatitis B virus:

• People born in areas where HBV is endemic
• Men who have sex with men
• Intravenous drug users (both present and former users)
• Dialysis patients
• HIV-infected people
• Pregnant women
• Family members, household members, and sex partners of HBV-infected people (even if sex occurred on only one occasion)
• People who have had more than one sex partner within 6 months

Otherwise, routine screening for hepatitis typically is not recommended unless you have symptoms or signs (such as abnormal liver-related blood tests) of the condition.

What If I Have Symptoms of Viral Hepatitis?

If you have symptoms or signs of viral hepatitis, your health care provider can perform a blood test to check for the presence of an antibody. If you have hepatitis, more blood samples may be necessary later -- even if the symptoms have vanished -- to check for complications and determine if you have progressed from acute (infected within the past six months) to chronic (having the virus for greater than six months) disease. Most people have vague or no symptoms at all; hence, viral hepatitis is often referred to as a silent disease.

Your health care provider may also require a liverbiopsy, or tissue sample, in order to determine the extent of the damage. A biopsy is commonly performed by inserting a needle into the liver and drawing out a fragment of tissue, which is then sent to a lab to be analyzed.

What Are the Treatments for Viral Hepatitis?

The treatment for viral hepatitis depends on the type and stage of the infection. Over the last several years, excellent treatments for both hepatitis B and C have become available. More and improved treatments are being evaluated all the time.

Your primary care doctor should be able to provide adequate care of your hepatitis. However, if you have severe hepatitis, you may require treatment by a hepatologist or gastroenterologist -- specialists in diseases of the liver. Hospitalization is normally unnecessary unless you cannot eat or drink or are vomiting.

Doctors sometimes recommend drug therapy for people with certain types of hepatitis. Antiviral medication for hepatitis B includes adefovir dipivoxil (Hepsera), entecavir (Baraclude), interferon, lamivudine (Epivir), peginterferon, telbivudine (Tyzeka), and tenofovir (Viread).

Until recently, the standard treatment for chronic hepatitis C was a course of peginterferon plus ribavirin for people with genotype 2 and 3, and peginterferon plus ribavirin plus a protease inhibitor - either boceprevir (Victrelis) or telaprevir (Incivek) for people with genotype 1. These treatments had been shown to be effective in from 50% to 80% of those infected with hepatitis C.

More recently, two new direct acting antiviral drugs, simeprevir (Olysio) and sofosbuvir (Sovaldi) were approved by the FDA to treat chronic HCV infection. When used as part of a treatment plan, they can be effective in 80%-95% of patients. Sofosbuvir (Sovaldi) blocks a protein needed by the hepatitis C virus to multiply. It is approved for use with pegylated interferon and ribavirin for HCV genotype 1 and 4 infections, and with ribavirin for adults with HCV genotype 2 and 3 infection. This is the first time an interferon-free regimen has been approved to treat chronic hepatitis C. Imeprevir (Olysio) also blocks a protein needed by the hepatitis C virus to multiply. It is approved for use with peginterferon-alfa and ribavirin for genotype 1 infections only.

In addition, the newer drugs daclatasvir (Daklinza), ombitasvir, paritaprevir and ritonavir (Technivie), ombitasvir-paritaprevir-dasabuvir-ritonavir (Viekira Pak), and  sofosbuvir-ledipasvir (Harvoni), are approved to treat chronic HCV genotype 1.

Also, many drugs have at one time or another been implicated as a cause of liver damage. If you currently have hepatitis, or if you have a history of liver disease or other liver problems, tell your health care provider before taking any medication - either prescription or over-the-counter, including herbal therapies.

Hepatitis in Pregnant Women

Hepatitis in pregnant women usually does not increase the risk of birth defects or other pregnancy problems, and infection of the unborn baby is rare. However, hepatitis E can be fatal to a pregnant woman during her third trimester, and if the mother has hepatitis B, the baby is likely to contract the disease at birth.

If you are pregnant, your doctor will test you for hepatitis B; if you are infected with the virus, your baby will be given immune globulin shots and a hepatitis vaccination. This will help protect your baby from contracting the virus. In addition, it may be recommended that a mother with active HBV receive treatment with an antiviral medication during the third trimester of pregnancy.

Other Points to Consider

If your hepatitis, either viral or nonviral, is in the acute stage (occurred within the last six months), avoid alcoholic beverages, as your body's efforts to process alcohol puts an added strain on an already injured liver. Also, be aware that your sexual partners, especially if you have hepatitis B, may run the risk of contracting the disease. Hepatitis C is difficult to pass through sexual contact, unless there is blood-to-blood contact.

Most adults recover completely from acute hepatitis A and B within six months. Mild flare-ups may occur over a period of several months as the disease is subsiding, but each flare-up is usually less severe than the one before it, and a relapse doesn't mean you won't make a full recovery.

WebMD Medical Reference

View Article Sources

Reviewed by Jennifer Robinson, MD on December 10, 2015

© 2015 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.