Hot Potato Topic December #5

See you in the new year!
The Chef

Hot Potato Topic December #4

Since I celebrate Christmas I will be saying Merry Christmas! Whatever you celebrate, I hope it is a wonderful celebration of love, joy, peace, and rest!
The Chef

Hot Potato Topic December #3

Well I'll bring the wine if you pop the popcorn!
Happy Holidays to my Favorite Cooks!
The Chef

Top 20 Christmas Movies

1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
2. Elf
3. Home Alone
4. A Charlie Brown Christmas
5. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
6. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
7. It’s a Wonderful Life
8. Frosty the Snowman
9. Miracle on 34th Street
10. The Santa Clause
11. A Christmas Story
12. A Christmas Carol
13. White Christmas
14. Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas
15. Holiday Inn
16. The Muppet Christmas Carol
17. Scrooged
18. Christmas in Connecticut
19. The Nightmare Before Christmas
20. Bad Santa

Hot Potato Topic December #2

Season Greetings Fellow Cooks,
The Chef knows when its time to get out of the kitchen. I am leaving these great quotes to the originals that said them. No elaboration on my part needed!

Season Of Giving Quotes

• No one has ever become poor by giving.
  

  Anne Frank

  
  
• Christmas is the season of joy, of holiday greetings exchanged, of gift-giving,and of families united.
  

  Norman Vincent Peale

  
  
•   We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
  

  Winston Churchill

  
  
• No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.
  

  Charles Dickens

  
  
• You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
  

  Khalil Gibran

  
  
• You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
  

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  
  
• My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
  

  Bob Hope

  
  
• Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
  

  William Arthur Ward

  
  
• The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
  

  Bill Vaughan

  
  
• Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.
  

  Oren Arnold

  
  
• To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.
  

  Oren Arnold

  
  
• Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.
  

  Charles M. Schulz

  
  
• Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.
  

  Ruth Carter Stapleton

  
  
• Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
  

  Norman MacEwen

  
  
• For centuries men have kept an appointment with Christmas. Christmas means fellowship, feasting, giving and receiving, a time of good cheer, home.
  

  William Jewett Tucker

  
  
• One must be poor to know the luxury of giving!
  

  George Eliot

  
  
• Good news from heaven the angels bring,
  Glad tidings to the earth they sing:
  To us this day a child is given,
  To crown us with the joy of heaven.
  

  Martin Luther

  
  
• Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting.
  

  Thomas S. Monson

  
  
• Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.
  

  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  
  
• Give, but give until it hurts.
  

  Mother Teresa

  
  
• I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,
  I notice this, each year I live;
  I always like the gifts I get,
  But how I love the gifts I give!
  

  Carolyn Wells

  
  
• Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.
  

  Mao Zedong

  
  
• Presents are made for the pleasure of who gives them, not the merits of who receives them.
  

  Carlos Ruiz Zafon

  
  
• I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.
  

  Khalil Gibran

  
  
• I know what I have given you... I do not know what you have received.
  

  Antonio Porchia

Hot Potato Topic December #1

Hello my fellow cooks! Hope your kitchens are hot and healthy. Once Thanksgiving rolls around I am a baking fanatic and I enjoy taking care of everyone's sweet tooth.

So as we get into this season of giving I hope that you all will take an opportunity to give of yourselves. No matter what you are going through or how sometimes dark things seem to be there is always hope. There is always a chance to start anew, start fresh, start over.

Donating your time and talent can be just as valuable as you money. Visit your city or state websites for times and places that can use your help.

Here are a few websites to get you started! I look forward to reading how you all lent a hand, gave a hand up, or just made a difference in someone's life this holiday season.
Happy Holidays,
The Chef

1. www.volunteermatch.org
2. www.volunteer.gov
3. www.redcross.org/voluntee
4. www.Projects-Abroad.org 
5. thesamaritanwomen.org
6. www.serve.gov   

 

Hot Potato Topic November #4

Happy Thanksgiving!
I am so thankful for all of you and I wish you a wonderful holiday!
The Chef

Hot Potato Topic November #3

Hey Cooks,
As I prepare to hit the road and enjoy multiple home cooked meals, I thought a little advice for holidays with the family would be appropriate.
Enjoy,
The Chef

8 tips for handling extended family stress during the holidays

As the holidays are upon us, many of us will be spending time with extended family. Whether you’re traveling to visit parents or they’re coming to stay with you, time spent with family can be filled with blessings — and also lots of stress.
My father-in-law aptly stated it this way: one of the best things about the holidays is seeing the headlights of family members coming up the driveway to visit. The second best thing about the holidays is seeing their taillights as they drive away.
Handling extended family and in-laws can be tricky for most every couple.
Not everyone has the blessing of a good extended family or in-laws. Many spouses still may feel like they must compete against their in-laws for the time and attention of their spouse.
Like it or not, extended family and in-laws are part of your life, so having a good relationship with them is vital. After all, you married into their system. And they can help instill values in your children.
So how do you navigate the extended family and in-law waters this holiday season?
With a mix of tact, straightforwardness, and healthy selfishness.
Whether the relationship with your extended family or in-laws is great or could use some improving, here are some tips that may help.

1. Your spouse comes first.

The Bible even talks about this one — a child will leave their mother and father and cleave to their spouse. When you get married, it’s time to grow up and leave your parents. This doesn’t mean you emotionally kick them to the curb or cut all ties, but you do need to establish your own family. By putting your spouse first, you are choosing the adult role of being a husband or wife over the role of being a child in your parent’s family.

2. Set boundaries.

There are many things that happen in marriage that are none of your parent’s business. If you run to mom or dad any time you have a fight with your spouse, how are you going to learn to handle life with your spouse on your own? Avoid sharing the household secrets with your parents. Discuss with your spouse what topics and areas of your life are off limits to others.

Photo by Carolien Dekeersmaeker

3. Establish ground rules.

Much like the previous point, setting clear ground rules for handling extended family will improve your marriage:

• When do you and your spouse have exclusive time for each other?
• When do you spend time with your extended family?
• When do you involve your parents/in-laws in decision-making?
• Where should you discuss your marital conflicts: in private or in front of your in-laws?

4. Recognize the culture.

Our culture and upbringing plays a major role in how we do marriage. Recognize the cultural aspects of your spouse’s upbringing. One client I’ve worked with handled it this way: in her upbringing, the women did all the cooking and cleaning up at mealtimes. So when they shared a meal with her parents, he stayed out of the way. However, when her parents weren’t around, he stepped up and helped out or took care of it himself.

5. Don’t criticize your spouse’s relationship with their family or parents.

Nothing can raise a spouse’s defenses faster than criticism. Seek to understand more about their relationship rather than criticize, as that can lead to bitterness and resentment.

6. Be polite.

This doesn’t mean you have to change your personality to please your extended family or in-laws, but respect rules and traditions that are important to the older generation. Being polite and respectful with in-laws will go a long way in improving the relationship — not only with your in-laws, but your spouse as well.

Photo by Kevin King

7. Develop code words.

My wife and I have pretty good relationships with each other’s parents and family. Even so, there are still times when they drive us a bit crazy. We’ve developed some code words that we use to lighten the mood between us whenever family is getting too annoying. Have fun with this one, but remember to remain respectful.  Derogatory code words will only cause more problems.

8. Spend time with your extended family.

Develop a better relationship with your family members by doing things together. Find out what they enjoy and join them. This could be shopping, playing golf, cards, whatever. You may find you have more in common than you thought.

So works for you when it comes to your relationship with extended family and in-laws?

CoreyCorey writes regularly about marriage and relationships on his site, Simple Marriage, which is full of laid back information sure to improve your relationships.You can also catch his radio show - Sexy Marriage Radio, a weekly show filled with straightforward and practical information that will help your marriage.

Hot Potato Topic November #2

How we doing my fellow cooks?
What ya cooking? Prepping for family, friends and food?
Just like with all the weddings this past June it will be off to family and friends in an attempt to not gain too much weight! But as someone that loves to eat and enjoys trying new dishes, there will be very little 'no' and a whole lot of 'YES!'

Dating After Divorce: When Is the Right Time?

By Lisa Fields
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD

WebMD Feature Archive

If you’re divorced, or have ended a long-term relationship, well-meaning relatives and friends may encourage you to start dating again soon. But how will you know when you're ready for a new relationship?

“This wildly varies from person to person,” says Judith Sills, PhD, a Philadelphia-based psychologist and author of Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted. “Everyone ends a relationship by grieving the emotional investment. For some people, that happens before they move out. Others are still emotionally married after the divorce is final.”

Dena Roché started dating while waiting for her divorce papers to come through.

“It helped, because I got to see what 'normal' looked like,” Roché says. “I also saw that my ex wasn't the only guy who would want to be with me. It bolstered my confidence for dating.”

Claudia Barnett needed some alone time to heal before seeking a new relationship.

“Your marriage has died; you need to grieve that loss,” Barnett says. “To move forward, I had to be whole emotionally, financially, mentally, and spiritually. After I accomplished some set goals, I knew it was time.”

Here's what experts say you should consider before dating:

Go by your feelings, not the calendar

Some people are ready to date after 2 months; others may need years. Don't rush. It's important to experience the emotions associated with divorce.

Give yourself “a little time to think, a little time to grieve, a little opportunity to find someone else,” Sills says.

The ex factor

If you're still thinking about what your ex is doing or whom he's dating, you're too distracted to begin a healthy relationship.

“Some people date and even marry to try to prove something to an ex,” says Edward M. Tauber, PhD, a California-based divorce counselor and co-author of Find the Right One After Divorce. “You wouldn't date somebody who's still tangled up with an ex emotionally. Why offer that to somebody else?”

Are you open to new experiences?

If you were in a committed relationship for a long time, the idea of beginning a new romance may seem scary. If you've recently tried other activities that bring you out of your comfort zone, you could be ready to date.

“Have you done something that's an affirmation of yourself and your life -- made a new friend, taken up a new sport, gotten a haircut?” Sills asks. “You open your heart to new relationships when you're resilient enough to endure the minuses of dating to get the pluses.”

Accept yourself as an individual

Your identity has nothing to do with your dating status. Rather than jumping into a new relationship to avoid being alone, give yourself a chance to explore life on your own terms.

“You can't heal unless you're on your own,” Tauber says. “You need to find single friends to have a social life with.”

Things have changed since the last time you were dating

Not only have you changed since you were last single, but so have your social life, circle of friends, and routines. You might meet a new partner through a friend or by clicking with a mysterious stranger -- but you may also want to consider online dating.

“The advantage is you have a pool of people who are looking, like you are,” Sills says. “When you drop off the kids at school, there might be a single person there, but you don't know them.”

Dating is an adult decision

Some single parents don't date because they're worried about the effect it may have on their children. You don't let your children make other decisions for you, so don't let them keep you from dating if that’s something you want to do.

But be careful.

“Do a very slow introduction of a new partner,” Sills says. “It should be a serious person with the potential of a long-term relationship who comes to dinner or the zoo as mom or dad's friend.”

© 2013 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic November #1

Greetings Fellow Cooks!
Something is smelling good in the kitchen! I hope its thankfulness. This week we'll finish our sexual health with some important information and resources you need to know.
The Chef

Understanding Hepatitis -- Diagnosis and Treatment

How Do I Know If I Have Hepatitis?

Viral hepatitis, such as hepatitis C (HCV), hepatitis B (HBV) and hepatitis A (HAV), is diagnosed by your symptoms, a physical exam, blood tests, and other studies, such as FibroSure. Sometimes imaging studies such as a sonogram or CAT scan and a liver biopsy are also used.

Hepatitis: Who's at Risk?

For hepatitis C, the CDC recommends that you have a blood test if any of the following is true:

• You have received an organ transplant or transfusion in the past.
• You have been notified that you received blood or an organ transplant from a donor who later tested positive for the disease
• You have ever injected drugs, even once many years ago
• You received a blood transfusion or an organ transplant before July 1992
• You received a blood product used to treat clotting problems that was made before 1987
• You were born between 1945 and 1965
• You have had long-term kidney dialysis
• You have signs or symptoms of liver disease
• You have HIV
• You have a known exposure to HCV
• You have persistent elevations of a liver blood test called ALT (alanine aminotransferase levels)

Other people for whom hepatitis C virus testing is indicated include:

• Children born to HCV-positive mothers
• Hospital and other health care facility workers after a needle stick or exposure to the blood of a person with HCV
• Public safety and emergency medical workers after a needle stick or exposure to the blood of a person with HCV

The following people who are at increased risk for contracting hepatitis B virus include:

• People who received a blood or a blood-product transfusion prior to 1972
• Hospital and health care workers
• Household members of an infected person
• Intravenous drugs users (both present and former users)
• People who have had a tattoo or a body part pierced with an infected needle
• Sex partners of infected people
• Travelers to countries where HBV is endemic
• People who were born to a mother infected with HBV
• Transplant-organ recipients who received an infected organ

The following groups of people should be screened for hepatitis B virus:

• People born in areas where HBV is endemic
• Men who have sex with men
• Intravenous drug users (both present and former users)
• Dialysis patients
• HIV-infected people
• Pregnant women
• Family members, household members, and sex partners of HBV-infected people (even if sex occurred on only one occasion)
• People who have had more than one sex partner within 6 months

Otherwise, routine screening for hepatitis typically is not recommended unless you have symptoms or signs (such as abnormal liver-related blood tests) of the condition.

What If I Have Symptoms of Viral Hepatitis?

If you have symptoms or signs of viral hepatitis, your health care provider can perform a blood test to check for the presence of an antibody. If you have hepatitis, more blood samples may be necessary later -- even if the symptoms have vanished -- to check for complications and determine if you have progressed from acute (infected within the past six months) to chronic (having the virus for greater than six months) disease. Most people have vague or no symptoms at all; hence, viral hepatitis is often referred to as a silent disease.

Your health care provider may also require a liverbiopsy, or tissue sample, in order to determine the extent of the damage. A biopsy is commonly performed by inserting a needle into the liver and drawing out a fragment of tissue, which is then sent to a lab to be analyzed.

What Are the Treatments for Viral Hepatitis?

The treatment for viral hepatitis depends on the type and stage of the infection. Over the last several years, excellent treatments for both hepatitis B and C have become available. More and improved treatments are being evaluated all the time.

Your primary care doctor should be able to provide adequate care of your hepatitis. However, if you have severe hepatitis, you may require treatment by a hepatologist or gastroenterologist -- specialists in diseases of the liver. Hospitalization is normally unnecessary unless you cannot eat or drink or are vomiting.

Doctors sometimes recommend drug therapy for people with certain types of hepatitis. Antiviral medication for hepatitis B includes adefovir dipivoxil (Hepsera), entecavir (Baraclude), interferon, lamivudine (Epivir), peginterferon, telbivudine (Tyzeka), and tenofovir (Viread).

Until recently, the standard treatment for chronic hepatitis C was a course of peginterferon plus ribavirin for people with genotype 2 and 3, and peginterferon plus ribavirin plus a protease inhibitor - either boceprevir (Victrelis) or telaprevir (Incivek) for people with genotype 1. These treatments had been shown to be effective in from 50% to 80% of those infected with hepatitis C.

More recently, two new direct acting antiviral drugs, simeprevir (Olysio) and sofosbuvir (Sovaldi) were approved by the FDA to treat chronic HCV infection. When used as part of a treatment plan, they can be effective in 80%-95% of patients. Sofosbuvir (Sovaldi) blocks a protein needed by the hepatitis C virus to multiply. It is approved for use with pegylated interferon and ribavirin for HCV genotype 1 and 4 infections, and with ribavirin for adults with HCV genotype 2 and 3 infection. This is the first time an interferon-free regimen has been approved to treat chronic hepatitis C. Imeprevir (Olysio) also blocks a protein needed by the hepatitis C virus to multiply. It is approved for use with peginterferon-alfa and ribavirin for genotype 1 infections only.

In addition, the newer drugs daclatasvir (Daklinza), ombitasvir, paritaprevir and ritonavir (Technivie), ombitasvir-paritaprevir-dasabuvir-ritonavir (Viekira Pak), and  sofosbuvir-ledipasvir (Harvoni), are approved to treat chronic HCV genotype 1.

Also, many drugs have at one time or another been implicated as a cause of liver damage. If you currently have hepatitis, or if you have a history of liver disease or other liver problems, tell your health care provider before taking any medication - either prescription or over-the-counter, including herbal therapies.

Hepatitis in Pregnant Women

Hepatitis in pregnant women usually does not increase the risk of birth defects or other pregnancy problems, and infection of the unborn baby is rare. However, hepatitis E can be fatal to a pregnant woman during her third trimester, and if the mother has hepatitis B, the baby is likely to contract the disease at birth.

If you are pregnant, your doctor will test you for hepatitis B; if you are infected with the virus, your baby will be given immune globulin shots and a hepatitis vaccination. This will help protect your baby from contracting the virus. In addition, it may be recommended that a mother with active HBV receive treatment with an antiviral medication during the third trimester of pregnancy.

Other Points to Consider

If your hepatitis, either viral or nonviral, is in the acute stage (occurred within the last six months), avoid alcoholic beverages, as your body's efforts to process alcohol puts an added strain on an already injured liver. Also, be aware that your sexual partners, especially if you have hepatitis B, may run the risk of contracting the disease. Hepatitis C is difficult to pass through sexual contact, unless there is blood-to-blood contact.

Most adults recover completely from acute hepatitis A and B within six months. Mild flare-ups may occur over a period of several months as the disease is subsiding, but each flare-up is usually less severe than the one before it, and a relapse doesn't mean you won't make a full recovery.

WebMD Medical Reference

View Article Sources

Reviewed by Jennifer Robinson, MD on December 10, 2015

© 2015 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic October #4

Is it too soon to say Happy Holidays! Not in my world but hey I go on annual honeymoons with my spouse. Ha-Ha!

Kissing Secrets Revealed

How to make a kiss memorable -- and avoid kissing mistakes.

By Jennifer Soong
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Arefa Cassoobhoy, MD, MPH

 

Whether it's your first kiss or your thousandth, whether it’s with someone new or with your longtime partner, kissing leaves an impression -- one that lingers long after your lips have disengaged.

And, experts say, kissing plays an important role in relationships. "It fosters romantic compatibility," says Michael Christian, author of The Art of Kissing (published under the pen name William Cane). "The more that people kiss, the more they're able to communicate on a romantic level."

Speak Up

Many couples hesitate to talk about kissing out of embarrassment, Christian says. But if your first kiss -- or any of the many that follow -- isn't what you're hoping for, talk about it.

Don't be shy about telling your partner what you like or asking what your partner prefers, Christian says. Just don't do it while you're kissing so your partner doesn't take it as a rebuke.

Men's and Women's Kissing Mistakes

Most of us have clear preferences -- turn-ons and pet peeves -- when it comes to kissing styles.

Christian says men's biggest mistake is that they're too aggressive with their tongues. And men claim that women don't open their mouths wide enough.

For both sexes, the No. 1 kissing complaint is lack of variety, Christian says. He recommends kissing the different parts of your partner's face and paying special attention to the ears and neck. He suggests biting softly on the lower lip and nibbling gently on the earlobe.

Make It Memorable

Kirkland Desmond, a software engineer in Tampa, Fla., vividly recalls his first kiss with his wife a decade ago. They were sitting on the couch in her dad's living room, and as he leaned over to kiss her, he lost his balance and fell off the couch, pulling her down with him.

"I was so nervous because she was completely out of my league," he says. "So our first kiss happened while we were laughing, and 10 years and three beautiful children later, we're still laughing and kissing every chance we get."

Two keys to a memorable kiss are pleasing your partner and pleasing yourself.

"Put your whole body into the kiss," says Marilyn Anderson, author of Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl's Guide to Creatures from the Dating Swamp. "Without words, your lips should say, 'Baby, there's more where that came from!' There are ways to keep it fresh and new all the time."

She suggests starting with gentle kisses on the neck, move up to the ear, then go to the lips. Take some small breaks and then come back to the lips.

And don't get hung up on what a kiss might lead to. Enjoy it for its own sake.

Pamela Weiss, marketing director in Los Angeles, offers this tip. "Put a hand on your kissing partner's neck. It adds passion, like 'I can't get enough.' And let's be honest. That's what makes for a great kiss."

"A good kiss is deep and soulful and you should feel each other's love through the kiss," says Dan Landau, a graduate student in Bridgewater, N.J. "A great kiss is an adventure in itself, not a stepping point to something else."

Don't Fall Off the Kissing Wagon

Steamy make-out sessions usually happen early on in a relationship or during the honeymoon period.

But later on, when people are in a long-term relationship, they too often stop kissing and lose that intimate connection, Anderson says. In a Redbook poll, 79% of women said they don't kiss their husbands nearly as much as they'd like.

"You've got to keep kissing in the game," Anderson says. "The emotional importance of a kiss is where it all begins and you shouldn't let it go just because you've known someone for a long time."

"When my wife kisses me, it's like she's telling me, 'I love you' without words," Desmond says.

Time hasn't made kissing ho-hum for Landau and his fiancée, either.

"If anything, our kisses are better now than they were initially," Landau says. "We know each other on a much deeper level after two and a half years together. When we first kissed, there were sparks. Now, there are fireworks."

Reviewed on February 05, 2014

© 2016 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic October #3

Well Cooks, I've picked out my costume and I am ready for a little fun next week! Cosplay has always been a favorite of mine and I look forward to taking home a little more than some sweet treats! LOL
The Chef

6 Ways to Get in the Mood

How to break the no-sex rut and why it matters.

By Gina Shaw
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Arefa Cassoobhoy, MD, MPH

 

You're both tired. The kids are light sleepers. You're not happy with your weight. You're stressed out over deadline pressures at work. There are many reasons people in long-term relationships find themselves reaching for the pillow or the remote control instead of their partner's body after the sun goes down.

But a healthy sex life is a key part of an intimate relationship, and neglecting it can push the two of you further apart.

18 Secrets Guys Wish You Knew

19 Secrets Women Wish You Knew

Problem No. 1: Same Old, Same Old

The Solution: Spice It Up

"When you're in a long-term relationship, you get into a routine," says ob-gyn Renee Horowitz, founder of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Michigan. "There's biological evidence that novel experiences cause the release of dopamine in the brain." Dopamine is a chemical messenger that affects the pleasure center in your brain. "That's why it's so much easier," Horowitz says, "to get excited in a new relationship -- everything is novel, and your brain responds accordingly."

Obviously, you can't switch partners every time the excitement wanes. But you can change up some of the other factors. "Try a different place, a different time, a different position," Horowitz says. Have a morning quickie. Try sex in the shower or in a different room in the house.

Problem No. 2: Too Much to Do, Too Tired

The Solution: Take a Romantic Break

All couples are tired at the end of a long day. And it’s hard to have energy for romance by the time you get everyone to bed and deal with chores. But that can be changed.

"You have to prioritize what's important," sex educator Sadie Allison, whose best-selling books include Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! and Tickle Your Fancy, says."Tired as you might be, it's OK to just make it a quickie sometimes. Sex is so important to the overall health of your relationship."

Instead of waiting until it's time to put out the lights, take a break for a romantic encounter before you start the evening's chores, Allison says. "Make space and time where you can escape, and get creative." She says it isn't going to happen spontaneously. "You have to find the time and make a date."

Problem No. 3: 'Who Are You?'

The Solution: Rediscover Each Other -- Without Pressure

If you haven't had sex for some time, a come-on from your partner can feel very artificial and forced. It helps to reconnect in a non-sexual way first, says psychotherapist Christina Steinorth. "If you haven't had any kind of quality time together, you're not going to feel sexual," she says.

Steinorth says it’s important to mix it up: Forgo the old “dinner and a movie” cliché in favor of something new, and make it a priority on your calendar. "Schedule time each week for date night. [Try a] shared experience: biking, bowling, something silly. Plan a trip to the farmer's market and a stop for a cup of coffee every Sunday morning. Let it become a habit," Steinorth says, "and you'll feel reconnected. The desire will just grow from there."

A quick sexual encounter may regain its excitement once you’ve reconnected. "When the relationship's alive like that, the 10-minute ‘let's sneak off and do it' quickie works great," Steinorth says. "It's like your little secret and helps further build the bond between you. But that bond has to be there in the first place."

Problem No. 4: You Don't Like Your Body

The Solution: Focus on What You Do Like

Many of us have things we'd like to change about our bodies. Maybe you never lost the babyweight, or you're not happy with how you've stopped going to the gym.

"Ultimately, low self-image comes down to not being in love with yourself," Allison says. "And if you don't love yourself, you're not going to share yourself with someone else. Short of therapy for poor self-esteem, you can try finding things about yourself that you do like and focus on those sexually."

Or focus on your partner's body instead of your own. "What do you love about the person you're with? What about his or her body arouses you?" Allison asks. That way you can shift the focus from your own insecurities to what makes being together fun.

Problem No. 5: Sex Hurts

The Solution: Don't Suffer in Silence

Sometimes it's not that you're not feeling in the mood; it's that your body isn't cooperating because sex is painful. This can be a big issue for women approaching menopause, and you might be too embarrassed to tell your partner.

"As we age," Horowitz says, "estrogen levels decrease, and this affects a lot of organs, including the vagina. When tissues atrophy and thin out, losing some of their blood supply, intercourse becomes more painful.”

Fortunately, there are remedies for painful sex. For many patients, Horowitz prescribes a vaginal estrogen. Vaginal lubricants are also available over the counter. But check with your doctor if the pain continues. That way your doctor can rule out other, possibly more serious conditions that might be causing it.

Problem No. 6: You're Still Not in the Mood

The Solution: Find the Cause

A dwindling libido may be more than just a sign of aging. It may be a sign of another health problem. For example, depression, anxiety, and hormonal imbalances can all contribute to sexual dysfunction. In men, not being able to get an erection can be an early warning sign of diabetes or heart disease. And some medications, including antidepressants and blood pressure drugs, can lower your sex drive.

Behavioral issues can also interfere with your ability to have sex. Smoking and excessive alcohol consumption can put a damper on sexual response. Even the way you exercise can be a factor. For instance, too much time on the bike can lead to problems in bed. That's because the pressure put on the pudendal nerve and artery can decrease the blood supply to that region.

There are remedies for these problems. Share your concerns with your health care provider, who can help you explore what alternatives you have.

Also, make sure you're getting enough sleep. Feeling well-rested can help.

No matter what the reason for your diminished desire, getting back on track with your partner sexually is going to take some effort. "Sex takes work, and you have to focus on it just like everything in your relationship," Horowitz says. "There isn't a magic pill."

Reviewed on January 30, 2014

© 2012 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic October #2

Hey Cooks!
Wow the conversation about sex continues as we look at emotional infidelity....
Looking forward to your comments...
The Chef

Emotional Cheating: Are You Guilty?

By Marianne Wait
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Arefa Cassoobhoy, MD, MPH

WebMD Feature Archive

Like many women, René (who asked that only her middle name be used), a writer from northern New Jersey, had two husbands: a regular spouse and a “work husband,” a man -- interesting, smart, funny -- with whom she spent 9 hours a day. The chemistry was obvious, but nothing ever “happened.” Or did it?

They made a beeline for each other every morning, and their chats became more and more personal. “I definitely talked to him about things I didn’t talk to my husband about, including my husband, because my marriage was so unhappy,” René says. He sat a little too close at meetings. She admits she fantasized about a relationship.

Was she cheating? Gail Saltz, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell School of Medicine, says “probably.”

“Many of these emotional affairs do move into a sexual affair,” Saltz says. “If they don’t, it’s easy enough to say to yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong.”

The problem, she says, is the attachment to this other person impacts the marriage. “Ultimately it ends painfully one way or another: Your marriage ends, or you’ve got to give this person up.” René’s marriage eventually ended in divorce, but this doesn’t have to happen to you.

Often, people who become involved in emotional affairs feel something is lacking at home. “It makes them feel good to feel understood, to feel desired. It’s like candy. You go home and have your vegetables, and you go to work and you have candy.”

For some spouses -- more often women, Saltz says -- learning of an emotional affair can be worse than discovering sexual infidelity. “Everybody understands a sexual act need not necessarily contain affection or intimacy. It could be literally about a sexual act. Whereas the emotional affair feels like it’s much more about being connected, about loving or liking.”

Signs You’ve Crossed the Line

According to Saltz, these seven red flags suggest you may have entered into an emotional affair:

1. You spend a lot of emotional energy on the person. “You end up sharing stuff that you don’t even share with your partner -- hopes and dreams, things that would actually connect you to your partner.”
2. You dress up for that person.
3. You make a point to find ways to spend time together, and that time becomes very important to you.
4. You’d feel guilty if your partner saw you together; you are doing things and saying things that you would never do or say in front of your spouse.
5. You share your feelings of marital dissatisfaction.
6. You’re keeping secret the amount of time you’re spending with the person (including emailing, calling, texting).
7. You start to feel dependent on the emotional high that comes with the relationship.

   Quitting the Affair

   These affairs can be hard to stop, Saltz says. But to give your marriage a chance, “you just have to end it. I don’t think there’s a halfway. It’s too slippery a slope.” If it’s someone you can’t avoid, have a direct conversation. Tell them, “I need to not do this,” Saltz says.
   Your next step: Figure out what led you to make the connection with this other person, says psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.
   “One of the critical tasks necessary for the couple to survive emotional infidelity is for both partners to explore its roots -- why did it happen? What does it say about me, you, and us as a couple?” She adds, “It's better to speak up and bring the conflict into the open than confide secretly in someone else.”
   Instead of playing the blame game, identify contributing factors on both sides.
   
   
   If you want to save your marriage, the earlier you deal with problems, the better, Saltz says. “And the earlier you cut off something that leads in the direction of betrayal, the better.”
    
   Reviewed on February 18, 2014
   © 2014 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
   
   

Hot Potato Topic October #1

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

The perks of sex extend well beyond the bedroom.

By Kara Mayer Robinson
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD

Sex not only feels good. It can also be good for you. Here’s what a healthy sex life can do for you.

Sex-Drive Killers Slideshow

1. Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming

“Sexually active people take fewer sick days,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD a sexual health expert.

People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

You should still do all the other things that make your immune system happy, such as:

• Eat right.
• Stay active.
• Get enough sleep.
• Keep up with your vaccinations.
• Use a condom if you don’t know both of your STD statuses.

2. Boosts Your Libido

Longing for a more lively sex life? “Having sex will make sex better and will improve your libido,” says Lauren Streicher, MD. She is an assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

For women, having sex ups vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity, she says, all of which make sex feel better and help you crave more of it.

3. Improves Women's Bladder Control

A strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, something that will affect about 30% of women at some point in their lives.

Good sex is like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

4. Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Research suggests a link between sex and lower blood pressure, says Joseph J. Pinzone, MD. He is CEO and medical director of Amai Wellness.

“There have been many studies,” he says. “One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.” That's the first number on your blood pressure test.

5. Counts as Exercise

“Sex is a really great form of exercise,” Pinzone says. It won’t replace the treadmill, but it counts for something.

Sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV. It gives you a one-two punch: It bumps up your heart rate and uses various muscles.

So get busy! You may even want to clear your schedule to make time for it on a regular basis. “Like with exercise, consistency helps maximize the benefits,” Pinzone says.

6. Lowers Heart Attack Risk

A good sex life is good for your heart. Besides being a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

“When either one of those is low you begin to get lots of problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease,” Pinzone says.

Having sex more often may help. During one study, men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely.

7. Lessens Pain

Before you reach for an aspirin, try for an orgasm.

“Orgasm can block pain,” says Barry R. Komisaruk, PhD, a distinguished service professor at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. It releases a hormone that helps raise your pain threshold.

Stimulation without orgasm can also do the trick. “We’ve found that vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and many women have told us that genital self-stimulation can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache,” Komisaruk says.

8. May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely

Going for the gusto may help ward off prostate cancer.

Men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer during one study, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

You don’t need a partner to reap this benefit: Sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, and masturbation were all part of the equation.

It's not clear that sex was the only reason that mattered in that study. Lots of factors affect cancer risk. But more sex won’t hurt.

9. Improves Sleep

You may nod off more quickly after sex, and for good reason.

“After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness" after sex, says Sheenie Ambardar, MD. She is a psychiatrist in West Hollywood, Calif.

10. Eases Stress

Being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.

Ambardar says touching and hugging can release your body's natural “feel-good hormone.” Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system.

Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness, too, Ambardar says. It’s not only a prescription for a healthy life, but a happy one.

Reviewed on October 24, 2013

© 2013 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic September #5

Hey Fellow Cooks,
One of the things we can take away from this list below is none of them have to be permanent sex drive killers. There are options and resources to keep your sex lives healthy and thriving.
The Chef

Sex-Drive Killers

Sex-Drive Killer: Stress

Some people do many things well when they're stressed. Feeling sexy usually isn't one of them. Stress at work, home, or in relationships can happen to anyone. Learning how to handle it in a healthy way really helps. You can do a lot of it yourself, and a counselor or doctor can also help.

Sex-Drive Killer: Partner Problems

Problems with your partner are among the top sex-drive killers. For women, feeling close is a major part of desire. For both sexes, watch for fallout from fights, poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other trust issues. If it's tricky to get back on track, reach out to a couples counselor.

Sex-Drive Killer: Alcohol

A drink may make you feel more open to sex. But too much alcohol can numb your sex drive. Being drunk can also be a turn-off for your partner. If you have trouble drinking less, seek help.

Sex-Drive Killer: Too Little Sleep

If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you're not getting enough sleep. Do you go to bed too late or rise too early? Do you have a sleep problem like trouble falling or staying asleep, or a condition such as sleep apnea? Anything that messes with a good night's rest can mess with sex. Fatigue saps sexy feelings. Work on your sleep habits, and if that doesn't help, talk to your doctor.

Sex-Drive Killer: Having Kids

You don't lose your sex drive once you're a parent. However, you do lose some time to be close with kids under foot. Hire a babysitter to nurture some time to be partners as well as parents. New baby? Try sex during baby's nap time.

Sex-Drive Killer: Medication

Some drugs can turn down desire. They include some of these types of medications:

• Antidepressants
• Blood pressure medications
• Birth control pills (some studies show a link; others don't)
• Chemotherapy
• Anti-HIV drugs
• Finasteride

Switching drugs or dosages may help -- ask your doctor about that and never stop taking any medicine on your own. Tell your doctor, too, if  your sex drive stalls soon after you start taking a new drug.

Sex Drive Killer: Poor Body Image

Feeling sexy is easier if you like how you look. Work on accepting your body as it is today, even if you're working to get in shape. Feeling good about yourself can put you in the mood. If your partner has low esteem, assure them that they're sexy.

Sex-Drive Killer: Obesity

When you're overweight or obese, desire often dims. It could be that you don't enjoy sex, can't perform like you want to, or are held back by low self-esteem. Working on how you feel about yourself, with a counselor if needed, may make a big difference.

Sex-Drive Killer: Erection Problems

Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) often worry about how they will be able to perform sexually, and that worry can drain their desire. ED can be treated, and couples can also work to keep it from affecting their relationship.

Sex-Drive Killer: Low T

The "T" hormone, testosterone, fuels sex drive. As men age, their T levels may drop a bit. Not all lose the desire for sex as this happens, but some do. Many other things -- from relationships to weight -- also affect a man's sex drive and testosterone levels, so there's not a one-size-fits-all answer for every man.

Sex-Drive Killer: Depression

Being depressed can shut off pleasure in many things, including sex. That's one of many reasons to get help. If your treatment involves medication, tell your doctor if your sex drive is low, since some (but not all) depression drugs lower sex drive. Talk about it with your therapist, too. 

Sex-Drive Killer: Menopause

For many women, sex drive dims around menopause. That's partly about symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex. But every woman is different, and it's possible to have a great sex life after menopause by tending to your relationship, self esteem, and overall health.

Sex-Drive Killer: Lack of Closeness

Sex without feeling close can slay desire. Intimacy is more than just sex. If your sex life is idling, try spending more non-sexual time together, just the two of you. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Find ways to express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your sex drive.

Reviewed by William Blahd, MD on April 18, 2016
Sources:
This tool does not provide medical advice. See additional information:
© 2016 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

Hot Potato Topic September #4

Good Friday Fellow Cooks,
How'd ya'll do with the quizzes from last week? I was pleasantly pleased with 80% or greater on all of them. Whew!
So we all want great sex, mind blowing sex, or better sex. Here are some ways to get there.
Enjoy,
The Chef

Exercises for Better Sex

Cardio

Getting physical can ramp up the pleasure for you and your partner. Any activity that gets your heart beating faster and you breathing harder, from brisk walking to cycling, can boost blood flow -- including to your nether regions. That’s a plus for both genders: stronger erections for men, and greater arousal for women (a whopping 169% more in one University of Texas study).

Swimming

Harvard researchers found that male and female swimmers in their 60s had sex lives similar to people 20 years younger. Swimming builds endurance, boosts blood flow, improves flexibility and strength, and slashes stress. It also burns some serious calories, a plus for anyone who's overweight (extra pounds lower libido), especially obese men with erectile dysfunction.

Core and Abs Work

A strong, flexible core underpins most everything you do. That includes performing between the sheets. Bonus: You may be one of the lucky people who can have an orgasm while exercising -- sometimes called a "coregasm." It tends to happen during core-strengthening workouts like crunches.

Frog Pose

This move will make you more flexible during lovemaking, says NYC-based exercise physiologist Liz Neporent. It's an intense hip opener that stretches your inner thighs, groin, and hips. It also releases stress, which can be a real buzz-kill in bed.

Hinge

To help hold yourself in a "favorable position" without your back or legs giving out, Neporent recommends the hinge. Lean back at a 45-degree angle for a few seconds before returning upright, and repeat. The move is subtle but creates a lot of staying power.

Kegels

Developed to treat urinary incontinence, these strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, and that means explosive orgasms. Women may be more familiar with Kegels, but they also help men prevent premature ejaculation. But studies show half of people don't do them correctly. Ladies, if you put a finger in your vagina, you should feel a pulling up when you squeeze. Men, your penis will lift up.

Plank

This is a perfect way to strengthen the deepest layer of your ab muscles (transversus abdominis), along with your upper arms, thighs, and buttocks. These muscles help stabilize you so you can stay close to your partner when and where it counts most. Do it once a day, and build up to 60 seconds or longer. If it's too challenging on your toes, try balancing on your knees instead.

Cat/Cow Stretch

Think of this yoga pose as another form of foreplay. It limbers your spine, helps get you into an even breathing rhythm, and improves focus -- so your mind stays in the moment. Move with a steady flow, so that each rounding up (the cow part) takes a full breath out and each arching downward (the cat part) takes a full breath in.

Pelvic Thrust

Whether your favorite position is missionary or cowgirl, this move is a key part of it. But powerful pushes can be exhausting when you're out of shape. Work your glutes, calves, and hamstrings to build stamina and flexibility. Pelvic thrusts also sculpt your booty, so you feel good and look good.

Better Together

Couples who sweat together stay together, so make an exercise date with your significant other. Studies show that challenging physical activities spark arousal. You'll be more attracted to your partner post-workout, too. Coordinate your actions (for example, run at the same pace) to strengthen your emotional connection even more.

Reviewed by Traci C. Johnson, MD, FACOG on October 23, 2014
Sources:
This tool does not provide medical advice. See additional information:
© 2014 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.